June 2021

P arkit Motors is like an open book. We are honest, we work hard, we communicate with our customers. Over the last year, this has been more important than ever. Because we are so well known in our locality, we were able to open, and keep operating with all the social distancing measures, and make sure everyone stayed on the road. I think most garages have been doing the same. Obviously, with us being a MOT centre we are used to having to keep up many standards that are required by DVSA. Then there are the general standards of running a business that you need to keep up. COVID-19 has proved how good we are in many ways. One standard has slipped however, as due to the closure of hairdressers and barbers, some of us have been a bit more unkempt than we were previously. Some of my boys have managed to keep on top of the hair growth by getting their hair cut by their wife, girlfriend, mother or other. While we were allowed to stay open and work, many businesses were shuttered from January to mid-April, and some are still shut now. Among those that have opened are hairdressers and barbers. However, I have it on good authority that some of these businesses have spent the last few months living what might seem to be an exciting life in the shadow economy; I.e they worked illegally. Of course, with all the home haircuts going on, it would be very hard to work out who has been shaved within the letter of the law, and who popped out for a sneaky back-street short-back-and-sides, nudge-nudge, wink-wink, say no more! All this could have been avoided of course. Never mind the Stay at Home order, the government should have slapped all men with a Grow Your Hair order. Then, no one would have gotten a haircut. Level playing field achieved! They could have even suggested styles to aim for once styling was back on the cards. Personally, I’d like it if suddenly everyone looked like Rodney Bewes from 1970s sitcom revival Whatever Happened to The Likely Lads. I used to watch it just for his hair, which existed in that happy midground where a mullet meets a pompadour. Truly a magnificent creation. When the Angel of the North went up, I remember asking Mrs P, “why doesn’t it have Bob Ferris’ hair?” A missed opportunity to be sure. I have to admit though that long hair and having one’s head stuck in an engine bay can be a bad mix, so however my lads are getting their hair done, it should not impact on our Health and Safety. I’d hate to get us all through this reasonably unscathed, only for one of the apprentices to be injured because their top-knot, which they didn’t have a year ago, got tangled up in a starter motor or something. Ooh, it hurts my follicles just thinking about it, and I’m as bald as Captain Jean-Luc Picard from Star Trek: The Next Generation. Hopefully I am as inspiring a leader as him too in the midst of all of this, but I doubt it. If I said “make it so” in a definite fashion, not a lot would happen, apart from a wall of puzzled faces. It’s sad but true. Before anyone says I am sexist as there are many female mechanics, remember this: Female mechanics have more sense than to get themselves tangled up inside an engine. It’s the boys I worry about. WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE LIKELY LADS? 58 AFTERMARKET JUNE 2021 TEABREAK: MEMOIRS OF A MOTOR MECHANIC www.aftermarketonline.net Follicles Compliance COVID-19 Wink-wink Mullet @?!